tread carefully

I don't know where I am, but i feel like i have taken a couple of steps back and more forward in another direction entirely. I am starting to think wiser now; well actually starting to think forward more precisely. i have stopped drinking for what seems like a month, and I have come to experience 'love', oh and I am in love, but it's not static; it's dynamic and i have to keep moving along with it/maintain it, or i fear such things will break down. My head is filled with desires, dreams, and paranoia. my guard is down for the first time ever and i am relying on trusting a woman. I feel i am being tested all the time, but i have tunnel vision. i just hope i can endure life's ambushes still and that my guard is not down enough for others to take advantage of.